What If

 

What If

Xena left a letter to Gabrielle, where she explains why she didn’t take Gabrielle with her, even Gabrielle didn’t understand Xena’s mission and plan she just stayed quiet and confuse waiting for hope that Xena could return to her alive.

 that morning when Gabrielle wakes up, she didn’t see Xena by her side instead saw the letter, her heart pounding faster, Gabrielle had never imagined that she would end up like this, then she Afterwards she felt helpless, because she didn't know where Xena went nor could she help her, she opened the scroll that Xena left with the heart heavy.

Gabrielle Reading………………………………………………………………………………

 

My dearest Gabrielle

I am writing to you as I am embarking on a soul-testing journey. I need you to stay alive for our daughter’s Eve. A profound darkness has spread in the underworld, trapping countless souls in suffering. I can't stand by while this evil prevails. This mission will lead me to a heart of darkness where hope is fragile. I’ll face unimaginable horrors. Failure is not an option, Gabrielle. I must make this journey alone, fearing what I may become. Your love is my anchor and guiding star. Please believe in me as I believe in you. I promise to try and return, but it’s not guaranteed. Until then, hold our world together; your strength is our shield.

 

Your Warrior Princess. XO.

 ______________________________________________________________________________

My hands trembled as I read her letter again, lips moving silently over each word like a prayer. The parchment still smelled faintly of leather and the lavender oil she always carried, Xena, even in goodbye, left traces of herself. My heart clenched at the weight of her words, at the pain buried beneath her steel resolve…. She was already gone. Gone into some hell she wouldn’t let me follow. I pressed the letter to my chest, biting back a cry that threatened to split me into two. I knew her. I knew her. She would walk straight into fire for someone else's salvation, but this time… this time she walked away from us. From Eve. From me. I saw our little Eve, lying asleep with her dark brown curly hair, her cheeks red, how could Xena do this to us, Eve is 6 years old, she will not understand why her mom disappear, she still a kid…… I sat down by the bed where Eve lay sleeping, soft curls clinging to her brow. So peaceful. So unaware. I reached out, brushing her cheek, feeling the rhythm of her breath. She was everything good we ever did in this broken world. I wanted to scream, to rage, to run after her. But how do you chase someone who’s gone beyond life itself?......I’ll hold our world together, I’ll protect her with every ounce of my soul, Xena. But damn…why didn’t you let me fight beside you? My tears fell quietly, no wails, no sobs, just the steady ache of knowing I had to stay behind while the woman I loved faced her demons alone. Still, I lit the candles by our window. One for strength. One for love. And one for her return. Wherever you are, Xena… find your way back to us. I’ll be waiting. Always, I was crying and Eve approach to me and caressing my cheeks, her touch was featherlight, grounding me like the first breath after a storm.

-mama(caressing Gabrielle’s chin)….where is mommy?

-she…. she went to a mission! (Hugging Eve)

-for that you’re crying (still in Gabrielle’s arms)

-yes sweetheart (softly cry)

- She’s out there….and and she will be back, right?

- (clean her tears) …. yes Eve…. she always finds her way back.

- (hugging Gabrielle) …mama?

-yes, my love (caressing Eve’s hair)

-I am scared…. lay down with me.

- (I took Eve in my arms) …. you don’t need to be afraid my darling; I am here to protect you.

-but…. I saw a man stand in the doorway.

A chill ran through me, sharp and sudden, like a blade slicing through the warmth of Eve’s small body pressed against mine. My hand froze in her hair, my breath catching as her words echoed in my mind. A man in the doorway. The room felt smaller, the air heavier, as if the walls themselves were leaning in to listen.

-a man? Eve sweetheart, when did you see this man? Tell Mama exactly what you saw.

- it was… before you came in. I woke up, and it was dark, and… and he was there, just standing. In the doorway. He didn’t move, Mama. He just… looked.

-Did you remember, how he looks like? (Gabrielle said worried)

-umm…. couldn’t see his face mama, but he…he was tall, and his eyes mama they were shiny, like a cat in the night, he didn’t move, he was…. looked, and make me scared.

Gabrielle’s arm tightened around her, instinctively shielding her daughter from whatever threat might still linger in the shadows. I felt a cold sweat at the nape of my neck. I met Eve’s eyes across the dim room eyes wide, alert, and brimming with the same dread that had seized my own chest.

- (hugging Eve) … You’re safe sweetheart, I won’t let anything happens, promise.

 

I kept my arms around Eve, holding her close, rocking her gently, trying to chase away the trembling that had crept into her voice, and my own spine. Her small fingers clung to my dress like I was the only thing keeping the darkness at bay. Maybe I was, I pulled Eve tighter against me, trying to steady the rapid beating of my heart so she wouldn't feel it. Her little body trembled against mine, and I could tell she was trying not to cry, she is strong as Xena even she is only 6 years old, but doesn’t feel safe here anymore, need to move from Greece, the best place is where my Amazon sister are, after all they told me to come back anytime if I don’t feel safe in Greece, so I waiting the night to fall, so I can start our journey to Mesopotamia, between the rivers, where Eve was baptized when she was only 6 months old, The night crept in slowly, casting long shadows across the stone walls of our small cottage. I wrapped a woolen cloak around Eve and stepped to the window, peering into the twilight like a hawk awaiting the moon's blessing. The silence outside buzzed with unseen tension, dogs didn’t bark, and the wind no longer whispered through the olive trees. Even the stars hesitated behind thick clouds, as though the heavens themselves held their breath for what came next…. Eve’s eyes were wide, glossy with sleep and something deeper. I crouched to her level, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek.

-Eve sweetheart, We’re leaving soon, little one.

-Where mama? (with sleepy eyes)

-To a place where we can rest and be more safer.

-mama, but what if mommy comes and didn’t find us here (worried)

- (I leaned in to reach her, and I caressed her cheek) ….Sweetheart…. Xena will always find the way back to us, anywhere in the world, she will find us.

-okay mama… (yawn and then her smile is like Xena)

She nodded, so solemn, so old for her age. I took that as her silent promise to be brave. When midnight came, we slipped away under the cover of hush and shadow. The sea waited beyond the hills, a flicker of silver against obsidian. Each step I took was a whisper of the past fading behind us. Greece, with all its haunted memories and blood-etched soil, would not see us again for a long time. Our path would take us across ancient lands, through mountains and rivers, toward the cradle of life, Mesopotamia, where my Amazon sisters waited with open arms and sharpened swords, where the soil smelled of my ancestors’ prayers. the land between two rivers, where Eve had once been cradled by both water and sunlight. There, I would fight for peace, we journeyed beneath a shroud of stars, their silver light flickering through drifting clouds like half-remembered dreams. Eve clung to my hand, her footsteps silent but sure, as though some primal instinct was guiding her away from all she had once known. The sea breeze bit on our cheeks, but I welcomed its sting. It meant we were alive, still moving, by dawn, we reached the edge of the Aegean. A solitary fisherman's boat waited, bobbing gently in the shallows, just as promised. He didn’t speak. He only nodded and helped us aboard, his weathered hands steady and kind. As we pushed off from the shore, I watched Greece shrink behind us, its hills bathed in the pink blush of morning, Eve nestled against me, her breath warm against my ribs.

- Will they know me?

- They’ll know your beautiful spirit sweetheart…. And they’ll love you fiercely for it.

Days passed in quiet rhythm, salt on our skin, sun in our eyes, until the familiar scent of warm earth and rich river clay filled my lungs. Mesopotamia welcomed us with open arms: wild fields stretching wide beneath a sky as endless as hope. My sisters appeared like wraths from the golden dust, their horses thundering in greeting. They called my name, not just mine, but Eve’s too, as if they’d been waiting all this time. Eve dismounted with the grace of a born rider. My sisters knelt before her, not as warriors to a child, but as women who saw power coiled in her tiny frame. The High Priestess touched her brow and whispered.

- Welcome home, flame-born one.

Eve Look at my eyes a little confuse, but she didn’t say a word and just smile, then they took us to our hunt, a beautiful one, with a garden with different flowers, a river beside us and fruit trees, then they took us to our hunt, a beautiful one, with a garden with different flowers, a river beside us and fruit trees, have a lot that didn’t see my Amazons sister, Amarice was there, when she saw me and saw Eve, she hug me tight and saw Eve, and took her is arms, Eve was a little confuse.

-Hi little one! I Amarice your Amazon Aunt.

-hi…mama! (looking at Gabrielle and open her arms to Gabrielle carry her)

-it’s ok my love, Amarice is your aunt, she known you. (Carry Eve)

-she’s not use to it huh…

-no, she’s not…. (caressing Eve’s hair)

Eve dozen off, and Americe took us to the hunt, and there I lay down Eve in the freshly made bed, leaving her sleeping, I went out with Americe to talk about Xena, the wind rustled gently through the trees, carrying with it the scent of jasmine and fresh river water. Amarice walked beside me, her steps light but purposeful, her expression shadowed by something more than just the fading daylight. Once we were out of earshot of the hut, she turned to me with a mix of excitement and concern in her eyes.

- She's beautiful, Gabrielle. Looks like you and Xena.

- Yeah. She has Xena’s eyes. That quiet strength. But she’s gentle, curious… sometimes afraid of things she can’t name.

- (Amarice nodded slowly) …... We heard rumors. That you both had disappeared. That Xena had…

-(tears coming out from my eyes) …. I lost her, Amarice. Not in battle. Not by the sword. But I still lost her.

- She died? (Amarice’s jaw tightened, her brown eyes softening)

- I don’t know. She went into darkness… to fight something I couldn’t follow her into. And she still didn’t come back (Sobbing)…..I kept going because of Eve. She needed me, and I needed to believe Xena didn’t do it all for nothing.

Silence hung between us like heavy fog. Only the sound of the river beside us reminded me that the world kept moving, even when my heart hadn’t, Amarice swallowed, her gaze drifting toward the hut.

- And now you’re here. Among us again (Hugging Gabrielle)

- I don’t know how long. Maybe just long enough to breathe. To let Eve feel safe.

- You’ll always have a place here, Gabrielle. Both of you. She’s an Amazon whether she knows it or not.

- I’m grateful. I need her to know what strength really looks like, not just mine (I smiled, genuinely this time)

We stood there a moment longer, the stars beginning to peek out above the treetops. A soft breeze blew past us, and for a fleeting second, I thought I heard Xena’s voice in it. Strong. Steady.

- Do you want to see the ceremonial grounds tomorrow? (Amarice asked gently). Maybe… being there could help her feel more connected.

- I’d like that. But let’s take it slow. She’s still just a little girl.

And somewhere inside me, I still felt like a woman trying to hold back the tide of grief. But at least here, in the heart of the Amazon forest, surrounded by old friends and new life, I could let myself breathe again.

- Let’s go inside. I want to be with her when she wakes up.

Amarice nodded, and we walked together under the canopy of stars, toward something that almost felt like peace. inside, the fire crackled low in the hearth, casting a soft amber glow across the wooden walls. Eve was still asleep, curled on her side with her thumb brushing her cheek, her breathing slow and even. The sight of her, so small, so peaceful…sent a wave of emotion through me. I sat beside the bed, brushing her curls from her face, Amarice moved quietly around the hut, lighting a few oil lamps and setting down a small bowl of warm broth on the table. She gave me a look one part of encouragement, one-part silent understanding, before settling onto a stool near the window.

- I used to think you and Xena were invincible, you know.

- I used to think so too (I whispered)

There was a long pause. Outside, the forest hummed with nocturnal life, crickets, frogs, the occasional distant howl of something wild but unthreatening.

- never said this before, but… I admired you, Gabrielle. You weren’t like the others. You didn’t need a sword to lead. You just… knew who you were. Even when things got dark.

-(I looked at her, surprised by the honesty in her voice) …. You saw the darkest parts of us, Amarice. You stayed through them. That means something.

- I guess I never stopped hoping you two would come back.

- Sometimes I think she will. That I’ll look up and she’ll be standing there, tall, confident, with that look that says, “Took you long enough”

- Yeah, that sounds like her. (Amarice chuckled)

I didn’t say it out loud, but there were nights when I dreamed it. When I could feel Xena’s arms around me, her voice whispering comfort, her presence as real as the air I breathed. And then I’d wake up. Alone…. A soft sound made me turn. Eve stirred, her eyelids fluttering, and then opened.

- Mama?

- I’m here, love.

- Don’t go, Mama… stay.

-I won’t go anywhere love…(hugging)…maybe was a bad dream.

-(hugging Gabrielle) …maybe, mama.

 

She nestled into me, her little fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt like she was trying to hold me in place. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair, warm and faintly sweet from sleep.

- Do you want me to sing for you?

- Sing the stars song, Mama… like before.

The stars song. One Xena used to hum when the nights were long and the world outside was full of dangers. I had learned it from her, quietly at first, afraid it might hurt too much to say the words. But tonight, holding our daughter, it came easier.

The stars above will keep you safe,

Soft and still through night’s embrace,

In dreams you’ll walk where love remains,

And morning light will heal your pains…

Eve’s breathing slowed. Her body relaxed, the tension from whatever nightmare haunted her now melting against my chest. My voice wavered at the final verse, but I held it steady, for her, she fall sleep on my arms, but my heart was broken into pieces, my tears coming out by themselves, I couldn’t believe that Xena the woman of my life is gone, I lay down beside our beautiful little girl and drift off, but Sleep didn’t come easy. My mind churned, replaying the moment I’d lost her, she just left me the letter without much explication. 

   ___________________________________________________________________________________

Xena POV

I stare into the flames, my fingers tracing the edge of my chakra. I tell myself “I’ll see them again, that one day” … I’ll make it back to them. But deep down, I know the truth, this path might not lead home. All I can do is hope that letter holds enough of my love to carry them through, to let them know they’re my everything, even if I’m not there. I whisper their names into the night, Gabrielle, Eve, like a prayer. Then I close my eyes, letting the ache settle in, knowing it’s the only thing keeping me tethered to them, where they can be? Maybe with the Amazon, I knew this because they are like a second home for my Gabrielle, as well for Eve, even though she still didn’t know….I know she is with the amazon, maybe if I go near I get to see them, at least from afar, there is a tree where I can climb up …It’s foolish, maybe. Reckless, even. But I’ve done more for less. The thought of just catching a glimpse of them, Gabrielle’s golden hair catching the sun, Eve’s laughter echoing through the trees, is enough to set my feet in motion. I wrap the cloak tighter around me, securing the chakram at my hip. The moonlight filters through the canopy of the forest, casting silver shadows that dance like ghosts from my past. Every step toward the Amazon border tightens the pull in my chest—fear and longing twisted together like roots beneath the earth.

As I approach the familiar woods, I move silently. The Amazon patrols are sharp-eyed, and I can’t risk being seen. Not yet. I just need a moment…The tree waits where I remembered it—tall and gnarled, half-swallowed by ivy, its branches reaching toward the sky like open arms. I climb easily, the bark rough under my hands, my body remembering the rhythm despite the fatigue. At the top, I settle into a crook between two limbs and scan the clearing beyond the border. Then I see them. Gabrielle sits by the fire, her profile turned slightly as she speaks with someone, Amarice, maybe? Her expression is tiring, but there's a peace to her I haven't seen in so long. She’s holding something—no, someone…Eve.

My breath catches. She’s bigger now. Her dark hair is longer, her face more expressive, more like Gabrielle’s than mine. She leans into her mother’s side, eyes closed, as if the world is safe here in this one small place…. And maybe it is, a breeze brushes past me, carrying the scent of smoke and wildflowers. I grip the bark, torn between climbing down and walking away or leaping from the tree and running straight into their arms. But I can’t. Not yet. Not until the darkness I set out to face is done with me, I saw them one last time before I go to Egypt, I climb off the tree, When I was about to leave with my eyes full of tears, a sweet voice behind me...Americe?

-Xena? It’s that you? (Surprise)

-Shhhh Americe….

-We all thought you were dead."

-It's better this way."

-But Xena... Gabrielle misses you."

-I know... I miss her too, and my little Eve... (sobs)... but I can't let them see me."

-But... why?"

-It's a long story."

-No one's waiting for me, I can hear you."

-Not here, they can see me... come with me."

-Where are you staying, Xena?

-A few miles from here, across the river.

We sit for a moment at the edge of the river, Night was falling, the reflection of the sun's rays fell on the surface of the water, I was trying to explain to America.

-I tried to kill Indrajit the god of demons in the underworld…but I fail it.

-Indrajit? Xena that’s very dangerous.

-I faced him once, but failed to be killing him, the gods are punishing me. If I get close to Gabrielle or Eve, they'll take them away. I can't allow that! The only way to get Gabrielle and Eve back is by killing Indrajit and freeing those souls I killed many years ago.

Americe’s expression softened with something between awe and sorrow. The wind tugged gently at her hair as she stared at me, seeing past the hardened face, the worn leathers, and the scars I tried to hide.

-so, where you going now?

-I'm going to the underworld, to meet Indrajit, and try to kill him, can't fail this time...then after that I'm expected to be back with Gabrielle and Eve and going to Egypt with them.

Americe blinked, as if unsure she’d heard me right.

-The underworld? You say that like it’s a market trip.

- (I gave her a thin ......It’s not the first time.

-Xena, you don’t come back from something like that the same. If you come back at all.

-I know (I adjusted the strap on my shoulder, feeling the weight of the chakram, the sword, the past) ... But I’ve faced Indrajit before. I beat him once, with Gabrielle. This time, it’s just me.

-Why not take Gabrielle again?

-I won't let her die again in my arms for my sins Amarice...she has to take care of Eve, and teach her everything, now listen to me, you take care of them...keep them safe when I make my return, I can be with them, but I need them safe.

Americe folded her arms and looked away, silent for a moment. The wind picked up, sweeping a strand of hair across her face.

 -And what if you don’t come back? What do I tell them? Gabrielle. Eve. 

-Tell them I did what I had to. That I thought of them every step. That I loved them...Americe, please I need to look after them, if I don’t make it. Especially Gabrielle. She won’t say it, but she’ll fall apart, I know you admiring Gabrielle, and I know you love Eve like your own.

Americe clenched her jaw, nodding slowly, then reached into her cloak and handed me a small wooden token, carved with the sigil of Artemis.

-please take this Xena (give her a protection collar) it will protect you; it’s been in my family for generations. I wore it in the war when I thought I wouldn’t come back.

I stared down at it, the smooth, worn edges warm from her touch. A soft energy pulsed through it ancient, wild, and maternal. The goddess of the hunt, protector of women and the innocent. I felt the weight of the gesture. This wasn’t just protection, this was faith.

-I can’t take this from you...You might need it.

-If you don’t come back, there won’t be anything left worth protecting.

-I’ll come back... (more to convince myself than her) ... But if I don’t… you know what to do.

-I’ll look after Gabrielle. And Eve. I swear it. But if you’re lying in some shadowed pit of the Underworld, Xena, you better claw your way out. Because if you don’t, she’ll never forgive you. And neither will I.

I smiled faintly, brushing a lock of hair from my face, I don't know how long it will take me to kill Indrajit, there in the underworld there is no time, no day, no hour, 1 day can be like 10 years, and the only fear is not returning and fulfilling our dream of going to Egypt and living a quiet life with our daughter... but this is something I must do alone.

6 years later

Xena had disappeared once when she went to try and kill Indrajit the god of demons in the underworld, Gabrielle spent 6 years looking for Xena, traveling with Eve, but they had found no sign of Xena, Gabrielle, along with Eve had to organize their own village with the amazons, while training Eve to be an amazon queen even Eve just turn eleven-year-old Amarice along with Gabrielle were teaching Eve the principles of being an Amazon princess, and some fight techniques, As Eve grew up, she became much more like Xena, but with a noble and innocent heart like Gabrielle, always wanting to help others.

 

Eve had a natural gift for strategy, something that surfaced even in childhood games. Amarice would often joke, “She’s playing war while the rest of us are still learning the rules.” But it wasn’t just about skill, it was heart. Eve questioned every mission, every lesson, with that same thoughtful gaze Gabrielle had come to recognize. Is this the right thing? Does this help someone? It wasn’t weakness, it was integrity, By the time Eve was eleven years old, she was already leading scouting parties through the forest that bordered their village, her movements swift, calculated, and silent like her mother’s. Yet after every patrol, she’d kneel beside a wounded animal or share her rations with a younger Amazon who hadn’t eaten enough. That was Gabrielle’s legacy in her, the compassion, the unwavering sense of justice. One night, Gabrielle was combing Eve's hair, the girl was a little quiet, Gabrielle knew that Eve had been waiting for her mother Xena's return, just as she had been waiting for her.

Gabrielle’s POV

Eve has never been much of a talker, but today she is very calm. I sat her on my lap and began to comb her long, dark hair. My little Eve is growing and every day she looks more like Xena. I helped her put on her sleeping gown and caressing her cheek. She looked at me with those big, blue eyes, full of curiosity and wisdom, I often when she is playing in the wood I watching her, and she is very compassionated with any kind of animal and with the little kids of the village even Growns up, that’s my legacy in her, that night when I was comb her hair she ask me something that I didn’t know how to answered her but trying my best in the hard way to give her a response.

-mama?

-yes, my love? (comb Eve’s hair)

- Do you think she’s still out there? (her voice barely more than a whisper)

-(I swallowed hard, trying to keep it all together)…. I don’t know my love, But I hope so. And if she is, she’ll find her way back to us. Your mother always does.

Eve didn’t said anything but hug me, one of those tight hug that speaks more than words, I know she miss Xena as well I do, She held on to me for a long time, her small arms wrapped around my waist as if letting go might make everything disappear. I rested my chin gently on the top of her head, letting my fingers stroke her hair in slow, rhythmic passes. Her scent, earthy from her time in the woods, with a faint trace of lavender soap, filled my senses, grounding me.

-I miss her (Closing her eyes and start sobs)….

-Oh sweetheart, don’t cry baby.

-(sobs)…. Why did Mommy have to leave us? Doesn't she love us anymore?

I felt my heart crack wide open at her question. Her voice was so small, so full of pain that it stole the breath from my lungs. I pulled her even closer, wrapping my arms fully around her, as if I could shield her from the sharp edges of that doubt.

- No, no, my love. It’s not that. It’s never that. Your mommy loves you more than anything in this world. You were the light in her life, the reason she smiled in the darkest times…your mom is a warrior and she went to a mission, but not any mission it was something more strong that her, something that she must fight alone, and she left for the same reason that she love….back then you were just six and Xena wasn't going to take you to war, much less to the underworld. She would never put your life in danger, my love, do you understand?

-Yes, Mama...yes, I understand.

-Never say she doesn't love you again. She loves you more than anything in the world (hugging Eve) as well I do.

-love you mama.

-(kissing Eve’s head)….now rest my love, tomorrow is another day.

Eve nodded against my chest, her little fingers clutching the fabric of my tunic like she was afraid I might disappear too. I stayed like that with her for a long time, just rocking gently, her heartbeat steadying against mine, her breathing softened, hiccupping less between sobs now, until she let out a long sigh that told me she was close to sleep. I adjusted the blanket around us, tucking it over her shoulders, not ready to let go just yet, The fire in the hearth crackled softly, casting golden shadows across the wooden walls of the hut. Outside, the wind rustled through the trees, but in here, in this tiny moment, we had peace. A fragile kind of peace, but still.